A few years ago, after leaving my corporate role, my family complimented me on how I had changed since leaving a demanding job. In their eyes, I was more laid back, less apt to snap back, and generally easier to live with. On the other hand, they also mocked me for always looking at the bright side. I began to wonder if friends only shared good news with me.
In my defense, my job had bombarded me with complaints - I was the real estate and facilities leader, and it seemed every conversation with an executive or employee involved a gripe about the office space. I took this baggage of negativity home every day and may have been…(yes, I admit) a curmudgeon.
It took a few months of being free from the obligations of problem solving at work to shed the weight of this baggage. But, I swung to the opposite end of the pendulum. After years of solving work problems, I mutated my habit of being helpful, into being positive that no good came from complaining. Instead, I responded with a positive counterpoint to every single one of my family and friends’ gripes and complaints.
When you’re the know-it-all of how every minus has a plus, you miss out on having deeper conversations that come from being a more sympathetic listener. While I’m a devout believer of a half-full glass, I now appreciate that not all situations need my positive outlook and solution. It’s an effort, but staying quiet or (gasp) nodding in acknowledgement to gripes and indignations, is a daily practice.
Old (bad) habits will die, if you care enough to make the effort!