The idea of burnout was an anathema to me. I was an Asian woman in a male-dominated commercial real estate and construction fields, working in a male-dominated utilities industry. I had a lot to prove, so burnout wasn’t an option. In fact, I had successfully worked myself to exhaustion throughout my career, always bouncing back to do the next big thing. It was thrilling to work on high profile assignments that extracted hours of tolls on myself, family, and friends. But, I justified the toil by rewarding myself with a closetful of designer fits. Weekly bargain-hunting at Last Call, Nordstrom’s Rack, TJ Maxx, etc.was how I escaped.
Then came a new opportunity to deliver on a project that could propel me to new heights for my role. I gamely took it on, uncertain of its intent or my interest in the outcome. Three months, six months, then nine months…It concerned me when I couldn’t shake the feeling of being resolutely apathetic about my work. To cope, I could only look forward to creating outfits from the weekend’s acquired designer finds. This became a necessary ritual and my sole motivation for facing the day. After more than a year of pinning my daily outfit, I accepted that relying on my closet to get me through the day was a poor band-aid. I resigned, and a few months later, departed with no plans except to experience a different way of life.
For any careerists in denial, burnout is real. While spending money on yourself and loved ones can be rewards for the toil, ultimately, there is no buying out of burnout. In fact, the things I bought as balms to my burnout became burdens. Fortunately, I found joy in reselling and recycling all the acquired clothing I no longer found solace in.
I was fortunate to have a well-paid career. I loved what I did until I didn’t. And in hindsight, burnout has its degrees - one can be exhausted but not burned out, or recover from burnout by taking on a passion project. But, buying stuff is fleeting, not curative. Sage advice: Plant and nourish your savings as early and often as you can. Do this, and among other things, you’ll create for yourself the option of stepping away, if needs be, from the source of your burnout.
Sure, treat yourself for all your hard work, but remember to invest in your future. Yes, the returns may not provide immediate relief or gratification, but truly - it’s a long term investment with the highest curative and beneficial returns of all.